If you’ve been following my posts; you will recall that I wrote about how as a result of the heightened state of insecurity all over the world, I went to register at a fitness centre(gym). Need I remind you? I’m pretty sure I needn’t, and I’m glad to know that your memory isn’t as ‘fogged’ as mine has been lately. (That is if you did realise it..lol)
Well, we should continue with the gist, shouldn’t we? Fine.
After Harry and I had gone our separate ways; I walked briskly and rounded a corner towards a street which led to the gym.
Finally, I arrived at the gym, and waited outside. From its outlook, the building was new. Its blue coloured paint shone brightly, reflecting the rays of the morning sun.
On an advert board beside the gate was the image of a muscular man, his bulging muscles seem to have a mind of their own as they were bent on ripping the singlet he had on. A caption beside the image read: “MR MUSCLES GYM AND FITNESS CENTRE.
GET THOSE STUBBORN MUSCLES RIPPED IN TWO WEEKS.NO STEROIDS REQUIRED”
Whoever suggested this design did a very good job because in truth, the design coupled with the caption even lured me more.
In eagerness to see what the inside of the gym was like, I rapped three sharp knocks on the steel gate and waited…no answer. I rapped another three knocks on the gate, this time harder than the first. Still, no answer. I was about to strike the gate the third time when a man with bulging biceps and big chest opened the gate. He frowned when he saw me.
From the way he was staring at me, I was sure he was thinking whether to let me in or shove me away.
“Good morning, Sir,” I greeted. You see, I didn’t greet him for nothing. I could see his growing irritation at seeing me, and it was only a matter of time before he would send me away, and I didn’t want that, hence the greeting.
“Good morning, boy,” he responded jovially.(It was apparent that my trick worked, didn’t it?) “What do you want?”
“I’ve come to register,” I replied.
“You’ve come to do what?” he asked mockingly. Then burst into a hysterical laughter. “Do you think we use baby-sized weights and equipment here? Pls leave.”
“No, please,” I pleaded. “I’m quite strong. See,”I said, and started rolling up my sleeves to show him my toned muscles.
“hahaha. Boy, close that thing. They are too tiny,” he mocked.
Immediately the man made that remark, I lost my cool, clenched my fist and gave him a heavy blow on his right eye.
“How dare you insult me?” I barked. “Do you know who I am? Don’t you know how beauty queens fall over their heads just to feel my abs? Nonsense!!!”
I wasn’t surprised when the man took off swiftly. To be honest, no one receives my punch and live to tell the tale. To say he was lucky not to have collapse is an understatement…
Long story short. I made my way into the gym, paid my fee and proceeded to try out some weights.
In the main hall of the gym, I see a couple of barbells,select the heaviest and flex my muscles in preparation for the great lift.
I had only lifted it three times when I felt a muscle pull.
What happened next; I don’t know because the next place I found myself was in my room, surrounded by my friends all looking gloomy.
“Una no go church today?(Didn’t you guys go to church today?)” I asked thinking that day was a sunday.
What my friends did next baffled me as the look on their faces changed from one of gloominess to ‘clownish’ grins. Then they opened their mouth in a spontaneous laughter.
“Why are you guys laughing now?” I queried.
“Look, Christian,” they chorused in unison. “You have been unconscious for three days. Today is tuesday!”